I can't take it anymore - Read this at your own risk

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Posted by Jack ( on February 15, 2000 at 19:02:53:

Or I should say at my own risk. If you disliked me before you will really dislike me after this.

The it I am referring to is most of the crap that is posted to this board regarding home remedies and the like in the quest to be rid of or diminish clusters.

There are things you can do that will be beneficial in your quest to minimize the effects of clusters and there are things that will have no effect. The effective list is rather short and this is what it is:

1) live a healthy lifestyle
· do not ever smoke
· do not ever drink
· exercise
· eat a healthy diet

2) take medication
· they fall into 2 categories – preventatives and abortives
· start with the most benign meds and progress as necessary
1. abortive – oxygen or cold air
2. preventative – verapamil
· take no medication without knowing everything there is to know about it

The list of absolute, unadulterated, unabridged bullshit is rather long and it includes these examples of things that will have no effect on your clustering:

· dropping out, quitting your job and picking up cans and bottles for a living
· dropping out, moving to a cabin in the mountains
· self-pleasuring yourself ( actually I have one caveat on this issue – I did indulge in this unspeakable act in 1971 DURING an attack and it made it WORSE. I have had much experience with this unspeakable act ( in the name of science ) and trust me it only has an effect during an attack
· chanting a Far Eastern chant or whatever they are calling them these days
· practicing yoga
· avoiding or ingesting any specific food groups
· getting divorced
· getting married
· relaxing
· reducing stress
· increasing stress
· becoming extremely flatulent in public place

I could go on and on with my no effect list but I will cease and desist.

My daughters usually tell me – “but Dad you are imposing your values on others”, to which I always add in my rather smug, middle aged manner – “who’s values should I impose”.

A couple of final thoughts – If anyone flames me for my brutally honest and brilliant post I will get on the next plane and come visit you and punch you right in the freeking mouth ……..well, with a couple of exceptions – I never hit women, Bob P is REAL big and drives an actual motorcycle, DJ is in the military and probably has a gun, jonny has tattoos ( never fight a guy with tattoos ), Drummer has been dying to beat me over the head with his drumstick since he met me, Gary walks alone in the woods by himself ( never fight a guy who likes to be alone in the woods) , Riccardo is BIG and he doesn’t really like Americans he is just pretending, Todd is a nice guy and I am really a sentimentalist about going to a different school with somebody, Bill McCuistion is a nice guy although I think he may be from another solar system, Ted is a nice guy but judging from his picture he likes to eat meat ( never fight a guy who really likes to eat meat )……………………….

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