i'll tell you about stupid

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Posted by Barry ( on May 24, 2000 at 07:33:50:

In Reply to: What a wonderful thingie. posted by drummer on May 24, 2000 at 07:00:11:

well, i'm not stupid. i'm quite intelligent. however, everyone else i work with or around is. get this: this complete moron who works at the security desk near my work area (the kind of primate who just has to say "hello there friend, how's it going?" every time someone passes by) was talking to someone as i was walking by last week. the other person was getting some advil from him for her normal-type headache. so this talking monkey says, "i know about headaches. i get really bad migraines like barry does. we know about bad migraines, eh barry?" i stared at him blankly. it was all i could do to hold myself back from bashing his monkey skull against the concrete, over and over and over. "no," i said sternly, "you are not like me. you are nothing like me. your headaches are nothing but bug bites. i have clusters. you don't know what that is because you don't know anything about real pain. want to know about clusters? stick your hand in a blender. turn it on `liquify`. now tell me your name. it's nice to meet you mr. `aaaggahhh-oh-my-fucking-god-jesus-christ-help-help-me-oh-the-pain-oh-goddammit-aaahh-aahgghhh`. but i don't blame you for your ignorance. most people don't know shit about anything. just remember that when she's holding her head in her hands with her headache, and you're banging your fists against your head with your migraine, i'm lost somewhere in hell. have a nice day." well, that's pretty much verbatim.
now when people ask how i'm feeling, i simply grunt. i keep more friends that way.

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