Loving the Beast

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Posted by Asa ( on March 06, 2001 at 21:37:38:

I no longer try to hide from him when he knocks on my door. I do not hide in the still and the silent darkness. I greet my friend that I have not seen in...Hum? 6 months , 2 months. who knows, I stopped keeping a journal, whats the point nothing changes. See thats it, I now know the beast, its in the knowing that I find comfort. The inevitable pain, I say bring it on, I will not whimper, I will stand through it , work through it, Have dinner through it , change my baby's diaper through it, watch my friggin movie through it,shop through it, sleep through it, whatever, when ever its a good time for him is A.O.K. with me. no worries , it's all good .As my eyes tear and run down my silent face, some how I find the humor in my misery and smile and squeeze my kneck or head and take my fiorenol and wait for my guest to leave. But I will no longer let him disrupt my time and life he can come by when he see's fit but it will be on my terms.

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