a few questions


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Posted by lost1 on April 07, 1999 at 08:39:39:

Ok I have had doctors tell me I have cluster headaches and that I have migraines .
Reading some of the posts here confused me more . Alot of the symptoms are the same r similar.
There are some differences .1st off Idont have remissions . Only thing close to one was when my doctor gave me prednasone <---spelling ?
I went about 30 days without one . God it was heaven . I dont think I need to explain the wonderful feeling that gave me .
mine last a minumum of 1 hour . A maximum of 9 hours . everyday . at least a 1 hour one . about 1-2 months for a 9 hour one .
Nothing helps the roughly 9 hour ones . except a dose of demerol . God folks im gonna unload some sorry .... i wouldnt wish these on a dog ...
but i havent felt like anyone in the world understood what was happenening to me until I came in here . I have completely lost my trust in doctors .
About a year ago I was suffering thru a 9 hour episode . Where it felt like someone was shoveing an icepick thru my eye another thru my ear and rubbing the ends together .
I get em on the right side ... this one was one where my neck hurts by my carotid artory my scapl feels like it was sandpapered and hot coals spread on it . I have an hmo so i need authorisation from my doctor before ER visits .
We have a few medical bills with my problem . Well this doctor refused to authorise visit when my wife finally got home and called.
. But i finally made it elief was minutes away...
and this guy didnt even want to talk about my headache . He had to be called 3 times before he answered page from hospital . he was angry he only talked about insurance and how it wasnt his job to make financial decisions .
I called back and said some stupid things askin why was he punishing me ?
This guy didnt even know me . Never seen me or anything . How would he like it if I applied a little pain to his head and wouldnt let him have any relief ? Stupid I know .
This guy flat told me you can have a shot but I am not going to authorise insurance payment .
how much of my dignity must I sacrifice ? I already cant work . I am on SS disability .
We have medical bills that are ruining us even more . I havent had a steady job in 4 years now . I never in my life had to rage at something i was so helpless about . I was healthy until 5 years ago when this all started . I made good money .
My wife didnt even have to work for us to save money .Well I blew up grabbed a gun and was going to finish myself . I had nothing left . I have always had alot of strength and courage . It was all used up and i was rdy for the cowards way out .
Well my wife decided she was going to fight ... me...she grabbed for the gun .... i was afraid she was going to get hurt ... i think it was the only way i was going to get the gun ....well i took off in the dark early morning...Swinging between rage and despair ....
the ER had called the county sheriffs office one passed me on the road . he wanted to talk I told him in unkind words that i was not interested in a discussion .... he left and i walked on .... several miles....I got a couple of young kids .... i started thinking about them
I called my wife to come get me i was 7-8 miles from home worn out in pain still and called her to come get me .... I had used 5-6 cafergot suppositories a day plus imitrex injections . in the 10-11 days leading up to this .
My wife came and got me and talked me into going to the ER anyway . when I got there 3 deputies and 2 city police officers where there too they jumped out and grabbed me .... before i realised who it was i was fighting .
when i realised who it was it was too late i started trying to leave . well after a few minutes they got me down ..... and all of a sudden it is a drug seeking thing i am going thru . they stick me with something called haldol and send me to jail .
I was charged with illlegal use of a weapon . When my wife was asked by police she was honest with them about whole thing .
This is 4 months or so after i quit takeing 7.5 hydrocodone all the time because the only way they helped was to take enough to knock me out .
The doctor said i could go in and get a shot just no insurance coverage .
I have to go to a drug counselor for an evaluation . I am even honest with this guy about the
the fact that I smoke pot . He asked me about other drugs i tell him no . he asks if i mind a giving a UA
I do it this is all voluntary now . It shows i was honest with him . I didnt even try to say it helped with pain.it doesnt .
It helps with upset stomach and stress .... i find stress and seasons to be my triggers for increased levels of attack .
I told him the only way i would quit smokeing it anyway was if someone told me it would help . But i had already tried it by quitting for year and it didnt help or hurt much either way .
he says I have no drug problem . shoot i finally pled to menaceing . wrote a letter to the court admiting my mistake and showing the steps i had taken to ensure it never happening again .
they reviewed all the evidence and gave me 2 years bench probation no fine no time not even community service .
I feel i got justice from the courts . but my doc quit listening to me ....ight after this i told him i was impotent and i think all the cafergot was doing it .... he didnt even hear me .
A week ago i was staarting to hit the crecendo of my of the end of the winter , daylight saveings time attack . My wife was worried about me i decided to hell with it he thinks im just some kind of drug addict .
I have self discipline .... I found booze to be a trigger havent touched a drop in 3 years ....only miss it with pizza now ... I decided to quit taking pain killersjust a while before all of this .
The only thing in my life i have been addicted to is cafergot and imitrex .
I even quit smokeing pot for 6 years while i was in the military . well anyway my wife goes too the appointment anyway .... doc finally heard her say impotent .... man it took every thing in me t admit that .
he says he is real concerned ... tells her to get me in .... i agee and actually go ..... i talk to him ... i watch as he turns me off just like a teenager who doesnt want to hear what u have to say .
So i ask him about the new medical marijuana bill my state passed . He finally hears something....and he tells me i blew any chance of that last year .... i got up and walked out .... I meet all of the requirements ....
my wife made appointment for me today..... i wont be going .... i just cant be honest with them now .....i will just find some perscription writeing idiot and keep my cafergot and imitrex comeing .wow if this looks like the raveing of a man who cant lay down because it hurts too bad you all are good guessers


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