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Topic: What the F.. do men want? (Read 3285 times) |
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Linda_Howell
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What the F.. do men want?
« on: Dec 10th, 2004, 1:14pm » |
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O.K., Marlin i need to clarify. "besides that!"
say for instance the sex is great.
What else am I doing wrong here?
What is it you men need? I am at a standstill trying to figure out the MALE mind set.
I cook, I clean, I iron, yes, all of you teeny-boppers, there's an appliance out there called an iron.
I have a sense of humor...,..just ask Cluster C
\huck, Leesa and Jayne.
when you lust after another woman...is it for real?
Do you come home at night and TELL us your fantasies?
Is your work really that important to you.?
What is really the most important thing to you??
I have an answer to everything...but not this.
I am hurting here. 
Linda
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Redd
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Re: What the F.. do men want?
« Reply #1 on: Dec 10th, 2004, 1:23pm » |
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I wish I had an answer for you Hun...and I won't even bother to read anything Marlin writes any how.
Still looking for the answer to that meself Sis. Someday it'll all make sense. Till then, maybe we just have to focus on being happy with being "us". Dispite and in spite of "them"?
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Jeepgun
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Re: What the F.. do men want?
« Reply #2 on: Dec 10th, 2004, 1:24pm » |
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?
Jeez... I have no idea. If he's managed to capture your heart and he's still not happy, he must be brain damaged, Linda. I just don't understand it. In any case, kick him to the curb. You don't need or deserve that shit. 
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Donna_D.
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Re: What the F.. do men want?
« Reply #3 on: Dec 10th, 2004, 1:27pm » |
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Sounds like HE is the one with the problem, Sis.
YOU DESERVE TO BE LOVED! UNCONDITIONALLY!!
DD
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Linda_Howell
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Re: What the F.. do men want?
« Reply #4 on: Dec 10th, 2004, 1:27pm » |
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yeah....
That's what I seem to notice in Marlin...He has only a one-track mind.
No one else would be so bold as to post to this thread .
Luinda 
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ArCane
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Re: What the F.. do men want?
« Reply #5 on: Dec 10th, 2004, 1:27pm » |
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on Dec 10th, 2004, 1:24pm, Jeepgun wrote:?
Jeez... I have no idea. If he's managed to capture your heart and he's still not happy, he must be brain damaged, Linda. I just don't understand it. In any case, kick him to the curb. You don't need or deserve that shit.
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Couldnt have said it better myself.
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Bandette74
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Re: What the F.. do men want?
« Reply #6 on: Dec 10th, 2004, 1:30pm » |
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on Dec 10th, 2004, 1:23pm, Redd715 wrote:| focus on being happy with being "us". |
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i think this is the best answer.
the best relationships i've found have been two "whole" people coming together, complimenting and sharing their self-made happiness. i've never seen it work for long when one of the people in a relationship "needed" the other to be happy.
sorry you're hurting... i know heartache can be rough
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nani
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Re: What the F.. do men want?
« Reply #7 on: Dec 10th, 2004, 1:44pm » |
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 Sorry Linda...sometimes this "love" business sucks. There is a new book out now, called He's just Not Into You. I saw the author on Oprah the other day and he said women don't have high enough standards for themselves. When I think about that it's true in a way. Women often see themselves as the "catchers" and allow men to do most of the "pitching". We let them control the relationships by "waiting " for them to be ready. I had just broken up with my 2nd husband and had pretty much sworn men off completely. I was in no way, shape, or form, looking for a relationship. I befriended this guy at work, and though I thought we might have been good together, I never wanted it to go beyond friendship. You know what happened...He pursued me...I was very resistant, which I think probably made him more intrigued. Long story short...we have been married for 17 years. He's my best friend and we couldn't be happier. I found the love in my life, I think, because I was soooo not looking for it. Set a standrard for yourself...you are sooo worth more than what you've gotten. There is a Mr Right out there. (There are also a lot more Mr Wrongs- but fuck 'em...you don't have time for them)You probably don't see him as a romantic partner, yet. He will pursue you. And he will cherish you in the way you deserve to be cherished.
P.S. If marlin posts to this in his "usual" way, let's kick his ass 
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Cerberus
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Re: What the F.. do men want?
« Reply #8 on: Dec 10th, 2004, 1:56pm » |
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Linda...
I hate to say this but MOST men are pretty damn shallow, you can do damn near everything for 'em and you will get used/abused.
I like to think that MOST of the men here are not that way, I can only speak for myself.
This is my train of thinking...I am a simple man, I don't require much. Sure I have all the wants and desires of a man in general, we all do, however what I WANT and what I NEED are two different things and I have learned to focus more on the needs than the wants.
Also being a man, I tend to not communicate all too well how I am feeling at any given time, unless it is really bothering me, and even still it usually manifests as anger from frustration of one sort or another. Know this though if you are not loved I will tell you so, otherwise look more to my actions than my words to let you know that I care.
Now....since I am in the minority (JMO) as a male, I hope that at least brings you some comfort somehow.
Who loves ya baby?!  
Ramon
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marlin
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Re: What the F.. do men want?
« Reply #9 on: Dec 10th, 2004, 2:00pm » |
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on Dec 10th, 2004, 1:14pm, Linda_Howell wrote:O.K., Marlin i need to clarify. "besides that!"
say for instance the sex is great.
What else am I doing wrong here?
What is it you men need? I am at a standstill trying to figure out the MALE mind set.
I cook, I clean, I iron, yes, all of you teeny-boppers, there's an appliance out there called an iron.
I have a sense of humor...,..just ask Cluster C
\huck, Leesa and Jayne.
when you lust after another woman...is it for real?
Do you come home at night and TELL us your fantasies?
Is your work really that important to you.?
What is really the most important thing to you??
I have an answer to everything...but not this.
I am hurting here.
Linda
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WHOOAAAAAAAA! I can't speak for every man. And I freely admit I don't understand women - you girls are a constant set of moving goalposts. But I'll answer a few questions -- strictly applies to me though.
"when you lust after another woman...is it for real?" - Nope, not me. Eye candy, that's it. I have a lot invested in my marriage. Not about to fuck it up for a strange screw. I've had a lot in my time. That's why I got married and to the one I picked.
"Do you come home at night and TELL us your fantasies?" Rarely. Could land up on the other side of a scowl that might last for weeks. Not worth it.
"Is your work really that important to you.?" Nope. Work is what I do to make $$$$$ and to try and arrange for a hopeful eventual retirement. That's it. Of course having a job that's rewarding financially and emotionally usually requires a certain degree of focus and effort but that shouldn't be confused with "really important".
"What is really the most important thing to you??" That's the hard one and I'll bet you couldn't answer it without doubt either. Being happy at home is the answer I'll offer. Coming home to a smiling face, no bitching or grimmaces. Common goals recreation, financial, emotional... (sounds corny but makes a difference). Some degree of admiration, intimacy and SEX. Believe me, doing shit around the house counts too.
Sorry to hear you hit a snag in your life. 2 need to play the relationship game. I don't think I'm in the position to give any advice. Been married 19 years and lived with her a year leading in. Aside from this relationship the others were like a practice - didn't count for shit. If he's stumbled off the field more than once you may need to look for another player for your 2 person team. That's entirely up to you.
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marlin
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Re: What the F.. do men want?
« Reply #10 on: Dec 10th, 2004, 2:11pm » |
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on Dec 10th, 2004, 2:05pm, Linda_Howell wrote:
Uh, what about moi? I offered a humble thoughful response you probably weren't expecting, the leaset you could do is kneel down and kiss my feet.
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Linda_Howell
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Re: What the F.. do men want?
« Reply #11 on: Dec 10th, 2004, 2:15pm » |
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Quote: MOST men are pretty damn shallow, you can do damn near everything for 'em and you will get used/abused.
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I cannot berlive that this would post.
My friends in this.............breathe...
Linda
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Racer1_NC
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Re: What the F.. do men want?
« Reply #12 on: Dec 10th, 2004, 2:25pm » |
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on Dec 10th, 2004, 1:14pm, Linda_Howell wrote:
say for instance the sex is great.
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With that out of the way.....
Quote:| What else am I doing wrong here? |
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Probably nothing.
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All men are different, there is no standard answer.
Quote:| when you lust after another woman...is it for real? |
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Depends on the person, situation, and a 100 other variables.
Quote:| Do you come home at night and TELL us your fantasies? |
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Once again, it depends. It depends on what the fantasy is and if the person being told is on the same level of (for lack of a better term) freakiness. Dreams, on the other hand are told if someone is willing to listen.
Quote:| Is your work really that important to you.? |
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Work is for money. Hobbies are that important.
Quote:| What is really the most important thing to you?? |
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Happiness.
Hope I helped in some small way.
Bill
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john_d
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Re: What the F.. do men want?
« Reply #13 on: Dec 10th, 2004, 2:29pm » |
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This is kinda pragmatic, but....
First you have to play the attraction game. To start, you have to be attract a man to chase you, but don't worry, men are attracted to many, many things. Personal appearance, but also neediness- as in a woman who really needs him. Second, men get more attracted the more they have to chase. Hard game to play because you have to be evasive just enough to make them chase but not enough to actually get away.
I am sure you aware of the above, but I want to spell it out and make sure you realize it is seperate from below part of a relationship.
Outside of the attraction game, there is what people really want and need, rather than just what a man wants. Here is the 'Maslow Heirarchy of needs'
http://chiron.valdosta.edu/whuitt/col/regsys/maslow.html
Interesting stuff.
But besides all that, men are just imperfect human beings. They are not the answer to lifes problems and if they are expected to be they may feel inadequate and dart.
Vibes to you Linda.
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Donna_D.
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Re: What the F.. do men want?
« Reply #14 on: Dec 10th, 2004, 2:30pm » |
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on Dec 10th, 2004, 2:00pm, marlin wrote:
WHOOAAAAAAAA! I can't speak for every man. And I freely admit I don't understand women - you girls are a constant set of moving goalposts. But I'll answer a few questions -- strictly applies to me though.
"when you lust after another woman...is it for real?" - Nope, not me. Eye candy, that's it. I have a lot invested in my marriage. Not about to fuck it up for a strange screw. I've had a lot in my time. That's why I got married and to the one I picked.
"Do you come home at night and TELL us your fantasies?" Rarely. Could land up on the other side of a scowl that might last for weeks. Not worth it.
"Is your work really that important to you.?" Nope. Work is what I do to make $$$$$ and to try and arrange for a hopeful eventual retirement. That's it. Of course having a job that's rewarding financially and emotionally usually requires a certain degree of focus and effort but that shouldn't be confused with "really important".
"What is really the most important thing to you??" That's the hard one and I'll bet you couldn't answer it without doubt either. Being happy at home is the answer I'll offer. Coming home to a smiling face, no bitching or grimmaces. Common goals recreation, financial, emotional... (sounds corny but makes a difference). Some degree of admiration, intimacy and SEX. Believe me, doing shit around the house counts too.
Sorry to hear you hit a snag in your life. 2 need to play the relationship game. I don't think I'm in the position to give any advice. Been married 19 years and lived with her a year leading in. Aside from this relationship the others were like a practice - didn't count for shit. If he's stumbled off the field more than once you may need to look for another player for your 2 person team. That's entirely up to you. |
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OK..
Who are you and what have you done with Marlin's body
on Dec 10th, 2004, 2:11pm, marlin wrote:
Uh, what about moi? I offered a humble thoughful response you probably weren't expecting, the leaset you could do is kneel down and kiss my feet. |
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Oh THERE you are!
DD
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| « Last Edit: Dec 10th, 2004, 2:31pm by Donna_D. » |
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Racer1_NC
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Re: What the F.. do men want?
« Reply #15 on: Dec 10th, 2004, 2:30pm » |
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on Dec 10th, 2004, 2:29pm, john_d wrote:| men get more attracted the more they have to chase. |
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Speak only for yourself.
Bill
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john_d
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Re: What the F.. do men want?
« Reply #16 on: Dec 10th, 2004, 2:31pm » |
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on Dec 10th, 2004, 2:23pm, Linda_Howell wrote:
thjank youwhen you lust after another woman...is it for real?" -
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Men physically lust often...very often, it's part of the make-up. The key is not acting on it, if he does not have the self-discipline and personal boundaries to not act on those feelings. He will cheat on you.
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john_d
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Re: What the F.. do men want?
« Reply #17 on: Dec 10th, 2004, 2:33pm » |
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on Dec 10th, 2004, 2:30pm, Racer1_NC wrote:
Speak only for yourself.
Bill |
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pretty standard wiring really, but i'll take your word for it.
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marlin
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Re: What the F.. do men want?
« Reply #18 on: Dec 10th, 2004, 2:40pm » |
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on Dec 10th, 2004, 2:30pm, Donna_D. wrote:
OK..
Who are you and what have you done with Marlin's body
Oh THERE you are!
DD |
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Hey, I still like SEX and rarely get enough of it. The one I want to have sex with happens to be my wife. Not because she's the only attractive woman on the planet, but because I still find her attractive and she puts up with all my shit which makes her even more attractive. I'm lucky most of the time.
So... same marlin, only with a mildly softer side. 
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Jeepgun
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Re: What the F.. do men want?
« Reply #19 on: Dec 10th, 2004, 2:41pm » |
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Yeah... If someone plays hard to get, I walk. I have no patience for games.
Personally, all I want is a warm bed, a kind word, and unlimited power.  And if I can't have all three, I'll settle for unlimited power. 
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nani
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Re: What the F.. do men want?
« Reply #20 on: Dec 10th, 2004, 2:46pm » |
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Quote:| If someone plays hard to get, I walk |
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I don't think it's about games or hard to get. It's about not being the pursuer.
I think it's more of a game when men feign interest just to get sex. If a man is interested for the right reasons, he will pursue a relationship.
And marlin...who knew you had a soft, marshmallow filling!
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Kevin_M
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Re: What the F.. do men want?
« Reply #21 on: Dec 10th, 2004, 2:46pm » |
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on Dec 10th, 2004, 1:14pm, Linda_Howell wrote:| What the F.. do men want? |
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Personally, just to like and want the person I'm with, today, tomorrow, the next day and next, and that she's happy with me.
Otherwise...
Quote:| when you lust after another woman...is it for real? |
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Yes
Quote:| Do you come home at night and TELL us your fantasies? |
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No
Quote:| Is your work really that important to you? |
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Yes
Quote:| What is really the most important thing to you?? |
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See first answer to What the F...
Kevin M
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john_d
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Re: What the F.. do men want?
« Reply #22 on: Dec 10th, 2004, 2:51pm » |
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well Frank, it's a little more complicated than one paragraph can describe. But I think you would be suprised how at least a little bit of 'hard to get' can get you going.
But the main point I wanted to get across is this, their is a real physical process behind attraction and sexuality, and that it helps to have that *seperate* in your mind from the more rewarding process of building a human bond with a mate.
2 cents.
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| « Last Edit: Dec 10th, 2004, 2:53pm by john_d » |
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marlin
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Re: What the F.. do men want?
« Reply #23 on: Dec 10th, 2004, 3:02pm » |
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on Dec 10th, 2004, 2:51pm, john_d wrote:well Frank, it's a little more complicated than one paragraph can describe. But I think you would be suprised how at least a little bit of 'hard to get' can get you going.
But the main point I wanted to get across is this, their is a real physical process behind attraction and sexuality, and that it helps to have that *seperate* in your mind from the more rewarding process of building a human bond with a mate.
2 cents. |
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Look john, since Frank's been married for 10+ years (I think) I figure his response cariies a little more weight. I know plenty of guys that married women they had to pursue and pursue and pursue. That pursuit required a lot of effort, gifts, promises... The problem is these women all seem to think that was going to last forever. Guys eventually get tired of continuing to pursue. Produces a princess. An unhappy one that either bitches continually or finds another sucker to pursue her. They are all on their second or third marriage and fucked up their lives IMO.
Getting along, physical attraction, common goals and regular sex are keys to staying together and being reasonaby "happy".
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Biker
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Re: What the F.. do men want?
« Reply #24 on: Dec 10th, 2004, 3:06pm » |
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I think Jeff Foxworthy summed the question up right well. "Men are thinking, "I want a beer, and I wanna see somebody naked."" That is pretty true of most males. I have been told I dont appreciate all the cooking and cleaning, laundry, house hold chores,ect. not to mention keeping track of the appointments,ect.ect.ect. and the list goes on forever. And she is right---I have never really thought about it. Theres so many things to think about--fixing this, fixing that, the "honey do list", and trying to listen--well, I have failed miserably in relationships. As far as sharing fantisyies, hell no. I like sleeping indoors too ya know. I miss having a signigicant other around, but I have learned that (another quote) its better to be alone, than wish I was alone. Nagging just makes me wanna jump on the scoot. Relationships are tough. At first, everything is swell. After awhile, things are not so swell anymore. Its hard work to keep a relationship going without getting on your partners nerves from time to time. I once saw a T.shirt that stated "It use to be Wine Women and Song, now, its beer, the ole lady, and T.V. The newness wears off. Things become hum-drum. Its hard to keep the excitement going. Ya gotta think of new things all the time to entertain the both of you and keep the relationship vibrant. Being a victim of CH doesnt help much either. Getting edgy, depressed, anticipating the next hit, the drugs we take, and the grouchyness, is not good for a relationship. I myself become right anti social during a cycle. That in itself makes for hard feelings when Im out of cycle, and things (relationships especially) go down the drain. I doubt I have helped your delemia, and I sure hope I have not made it worse. I wish you the best of luck. Its probally a good thing I live WAY out in the sticks----otherwise, I would probally jump on the scooter, ride to the bar, but a beer, and hope to see somebody neked.
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