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Topic: Is it fair to get married!?! (Read 2336 times) |
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marlin
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Re: Is it fair to get married!?!
« Reply #50 on: Dec 17th, 2004, 2:44pm » |
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on Dec 17th, 2004, 12:17am, svengali_man wrote:.. whoever mentioned the not putting out after being married thing... nice catch on that one too  |
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I hope you don't think it's a joke!!! Ask anyone that's been married over 5 years. It's a time-honored fact of life. 2 choices on your wedding day - Get married or become a monk -- same outcome. Sex after marriage has a half-life like plutonium on steroids. 1 year half-life if you're lucky, rich and like buying expensive diamond jewelery like you see in those DeBeers TV commercials. Enjoy the memories 
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Linda_Howell
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Re: Is it fair to get married!?!
« Reply #51 on: Dec 17th, 2004, 3:12pm » |
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Tins'a fiance wrote:
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Hello all, this is the boy the topic got started about. I have a few things to add myself...
The first thing is, I love this woman with everything that I am. That isn't anything that ever comes into question. The second is, I've been around the HAs constantly. She has the chronic form... so its nearly every day. I tell her every day that the headaches don't define her. I let her know constantly that I love her no matter what. I won't let these things beat us, our bond and love is too strong for that.
If you want to know how I feel about her, you can read my Livejournal entry on it. www.livejournal.com/users/svengali_man
As for why this is such a big deal, you are going to have to ask her. I've made myself plain as can be on this matter. I love you sweetheart... sickness and health... you already know that. I know you don't think its fair... but isn't that for me to decide? Well, I've already made my decision. We'll make it work no matter what, I tell you that all the time.
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1. Does he have an older brother?? 
2. Marlin, read this guys post again. If he keeps this attitude up, he will find himself with a VERY good love life.
sheesh!!!!!!
Linda
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marlin
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Re: Is it fair to get married!?!
« Reply #52 on: Dec 17th, 2004, 3:30pm » |
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on Dec 17th, 2004, 3:12pm, Linda_Howell wrote:2. Marlin, read this guys post again. If he keeps this attitude up, he will find himself with a VERY good love life.
sheesh!!!!!!
Linda |
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Uh huh, sure. The odds are stacked heavily against it. He's naive, just getting started. Expectations eventually meet reality and guess which one comes out on top? Sad but true. Oh & BTW, it has little or nothing to do with him. Some guys just accept it & develop other interests. My father did. His interests ranged from women in their 20s to those in their 40s. Lots and lots of them. That's not for me either. I saw where that led him 3 or 4 marriages and emotional trainwrecks along the way. The funny thing about it is he's 79 and if he didn't have a birth certificate and a mirror I'm certain he could convince himself that he's 30 something. Still fancies himself a bif time player? Fascinates me.
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vig
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Re: Is it fair to get married!?!
« Reply #53 on: Dec 17th, 2004, 3:43pm » |
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My GP is a wise man and he told me this story:
If you put a bean in a jar for every time you 'do it' before you are married... and take one out for every time you 'do it' after you are married... You will never empty the jar.
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Slammy
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Re: Is it fair to get married!?!
« Reply #54 on: Dec 17th, 2004, 3:45pm » |
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Hmmm... I can think of several reasons NOT to get married.... Clusters not being one of them!
Slammy 
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Margi
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Re: Is it fair to get married!?!
« Reply #55 on: Dec 17th, 2004, 3:50pm » |
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now, Slammy, is that any way to talk?
how the heck are you anyway? Missing California yet?
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Tiannia
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Re: Is it fair to get married!?!
« Reply #56 on: Dec 17th, 2004, 3:53pm » |
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Well that would not work for me. Guess there are those of us that really REALLY enjoy doing it.
Anyway. Marlin, I think you are a butt. My husband was cheated on in his first marriage and I know that no matter what he would never do that. I could care less how much he looks. That is just being alive and human. But I KNOW that every night he comes home to me. Granted I di dnot have CH when we got married, but I have many other physical issues and pain (chronic) that he had to endure and experiance and figure out if he still wanted to be in my life. Now there where many times that I figured he would decide to leave and figured I would make him do it sooner rather then later. I know that there are lots of times that I hurt him badly but he was still there. Eventually, I realized that he always would be . That is when I knew that I would be with this throughout all my lifetimes. Marriage itself did not matter as long as I had him. I am a strong woman who does not need a man to made me whole, but he completes me in a way that I never understood. He is my breathe and my essence. So dont assume that just because you have not experienaced that all encompassing love that can withstand everything and anything, does nto mean that others can not.
ok stepping off my soap box.
Take your time and dont rush it. Just give her time to see that you will still be there no matter what. That is what she needs. When she realizes that, then she wont be so scared because she will know that you are there by your own choice and she is not trapping you into somethign that you dont want.
Good Luck
-Tia
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marlin
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Re: Is it fair to get married!?!
« Reply #57 on: Dec 17th, 2004, 4:10pm » |
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on Dec 17th, 2004, 3:53pm, Tiannia wrote:| Anyway. Marlin, I think you are a butt. My husband was cheated on in his first marriage and I know that no matter what he would never do that. -Tia |
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I may be a butt? But... what does that have to do with extra-marital affairs??? I plainly stated that I had no interest. I saw how one of those train wrecks work live from a front seat LOL. Look, I acknowledge there could be exceptions. I just haven't EVER met a guy who can vouch for it. And I've known my share of guys - IN THE THOUSANDS. They may or may not freely share that sentiment with their wives...
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svengali_man
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Re: Is it fair to get married!?!
« Reply #58 on: Dec 17th, 2004, 4:23pm » |
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I can see where you are coming from Marlin... and not knowing me, I would have said the same thing. However, I would like you to know that I am in no way naive about this. I have been in long term, long distance relationships since high school... some bad, some good. In college, I had a bad one, and I learned a lot from it. I spent the next 3 years looking for the perfect person for me, convinced that nothing like that existed in the real world. In fact, our biggest "discussions" have been about how she and I are both very much realists about relationships... but that leaves us wondering how something like this happened to us... Something we thought didnt exist "real love, or true love" and then... one day... it happens.
I know it kind of sounds like Im trying to justify this... or that I am trying to show people that I'm more mature than having these "high school" felings kind of show that I am... well... I guess I am trying to do that. Trust me.. we have not been anything close to naive about this. It really does exist... take it from a realist turned idealist. I am that guy that really means what I say... I wish I could convince you on here, but I suppose you will all just have to se in time, I'm ure we will keep the posts updated with our lives. Thank you all so much fo you support.
PS I hope you dont take this as an affront to you, Marlin.. I completely respect your point of view... Im just gonna prove you wrong... no big deal
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Slammy
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Re: Is it fair to get married!?!
« Reply #59 on: Dec 17th, 2004, 4:26pm » |
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on Dec 17th, 2004, 3:50pm, Margi wrote:now, Slammy, is that any way to talk?
how the heck are you anyway? Missing California yet? |
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I can also think of several reasons not to relocate to North Carolina..... and clusters aren't one of them! 
Slammy
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That's it! Everyone out of the pool!
" Everytime I try to get out, they PULL me back in! "
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marlin
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Re: Is it fair to get married!?!
« Reply #60 on: Dec 17th, 2004, 4:31pm » |
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on Dec 17th, 2004, 4:23pm, svengali_man wrote:| PS I hope you dont take this as an affront to you, Marlin.. I completely respect your point of view... Im just gonna prove you wrong... no big deal |
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Believe me, my feelings are not hurt. I admire your spirit! Make sure you have a full tank of gas when you go out on your honeymoon and I truly wish you the very best of luck. Prove me wrong.
PS - In case you never paid attention, all marriages start out that way...
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Linda_Howell
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Re: Is it fair to get married!?!
« Reply #61 on: Dec 17th, 2004, 4:42pm » |
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Svengalli, You never answered my question. Do you have an older brother or an Uncle? lol
Marlin???? Are you planning to go to the next convention in Texas?
I wouldn't if I were you.
Linda
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marlin
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Re: Is it fair to get married!?!
« Reply #62 on: Dec 17th, 2004, 5:04pm » |
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Linda honey, Actually... I was originally planning to go to IO in Jan but I won't be able to make it. So, that leaves open the possibility that I may go to Big D! Leaning towards it
I really hope you don't get pissed off at me for being honest. In fact, if you simply browse through this post alone every single guy expressed an identical sentiment to mine, just not quite as freely.
Now, I will come clean a little. I do know some guys that get all the sex they want from their wives! To begin with these guys are almost all so homely it surprises me that they ever got any at all. I met some of their wives. Let's say I think if they stopped and moved to another country they would be getting more than enough. Physical attraction just never made it into those equasions.
The others are more complicated to figure out. They all seem to have hobbies that consume every ounce of available time -- building kit airplanes, hunting/fishing/camping W/O their wives, auto racing.... You get the picture. I suppose it just isn't important to them? But they're clearly in the minority.
The rest were all more or less like me.
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Lobster
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Re: Is it fair to get married!?!
« Reply #63 on: Dec 17th, 2004, 5:32pm » |
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on Dec 17th, 2004, 5:04pm, marlin wrote:| In fact, if you simply browse through this post alone every single guy expressed an identical sentiment to mine, just not quite as freely. |
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lol brother... my post re: that topic was a complete joke, intended to get the goat of my sisters!
i was married way too young, have been married for 18 years, and still get it all the time. 
that said, i am good at it. and pretty.  pretty pretty pretty. mayhaps you are just not saddled with such curses.
/keeping her closet full of shit that says 'prada' and 'gucci' does no harm either
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Jonny
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Re: Is it fair to get married!?!
« Reply #64 on: Dec 17th, 2004, 5:44pm » |
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on Dec 17th, 2004, 5:32pm, Rock_Lobster wrote:| and pretty. pretty pretty pretty. |
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Did someone call?
Im so fuckin pretty guys hit on me.....LMMFAO
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marlin
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Re: Is it fair to get married!?!
« Reply #65 on: Dec 17th, 2004, 5:44pm » |
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Roc, Good for you. You now occupy a position in obscurity along with the rest of the 0.0002% LMFAO!!!
I don't know whether I'm pretty. Was a HUGELY successful player back in the late 70s and early 80s. Living in LA CA in those days and it was impossible to swing and miss. The luster has faded a little since then but somehow I don't think that's been an obstacle...
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Tiannia
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Re: Is it fair to get married!?!
« Reply #66 on: Dec 17th, 2004, 5:50pm » |
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on Dec 17th, 2004, 5:44pm, marlin wrote:Roc, Good for you. You now occupy a position in obscurity along with the rest of the 0.0002% LMFAO!!!
I don't know whether I'm pretty. Was a HUGELY successful player back in the late 70s and early 80s. Living in LA CA in those days and it was impossible to swing and miss. The luster has faded a little since then but somehow I don't think that's been an obstacle... |
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Why do I get a bad picture of Miami Vice.....
Anyway, Marlin. I refuse to attempt to get you to see anything other then what you have in your blinders anymore. It seems to me that you can justify anything to make yourself right and to prove that others agree with you. To me that is a rather sad way to see the world around you.
I'm done for the weekend. May you all be PF.
-Tia
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nani
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Re: Is it fair to get married!?!
« Reply #67 on: Dec 17th, 2004, 5:56pm » |
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Quote:| It's a time-honored fact of life. 2 choices on your wedding day - Get married or become a monk -- same outcome. Sex after marriage has a half-life like plutonium on steroids. 1 year half-life if you're lucky, rich and like buying expensive diamond jewelery like you see in those DeBeers TV commercials. Enjoy the memories |
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You are so full of shit, marlin. I don't know how many times we've been over this... some of us have excellent sex lifes, even after many years together. The problem that YOU have may have more to do with you than you think. I try to ignore the stuff that you post about this issue, and I want you to know that, as a fellow clusterhead, you should always feel comfortable here. But frankly, your need to include sexual content in 75% of what you post is really starting to creep me out. There's a place for everything, man. Serious questions about love, commitment and CH should be dealt with in a serious way. Talking about videocams on the honeymoon would be better placed on a different kind of post. Just my 
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Jonny
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Re: Is it fair to get married!?!
« Reply #68 on: Dec 17th, 2004, 6:35pm » |
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Lobster
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Re: Is it fair to get married!?!
« Reply #69 on: Dec 17th, 2004, 6:42pm » |
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on Dec 17th, 2004, 5:44pm, Jonny wrote:
Did someone call?
Im so fuckin pretty guys hit on me.....LMMFAO
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lololol!!!
Heya baby... what's your sign?
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marlin
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Re: Is it fair to get married!?!
« Reply #70 on: Dec 17th, 2004, 6:54pm » |
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OOOOOOO nan, you're sensitive today... Got PMS?
The webcam remark was intended as a joke. The rest is too ..to some extent... and otherwise isn't.
But, believe me... This is a heckovalot more prevalent issue than you seem to think. You need to do a little web searching for surveys. Women always seem to be on 2 sides of this one. Go ahead and prove me wrong. Post a survey and for every one you post I'll post 10.
Of course I realize relationships are far more complex that I am suggesting on this board. I'm not quite that shallow  My feeling is if they weren't made more complex than they need to be, getting along better would be a lot simpler. There would be more smiling and less scowls AND MORE SEX. It's a chicken and egg thingy. This goes south, then that then round and round she goes...
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john_d
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Re: Is it fair to get married!?!
« Reply #71 on: Dec 17th, 2004, 7:22pm » |
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on Dec 17th, 2004, 5:32pm, Rock_Lobster wrote:
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hey, is that the mutual of omaha wild kingdom dude? I can still here his voice perfectly.
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nani
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Re: Is it fair to get married!?!
« Reply #72 on: Dec 17th, 2004, 7:22pm » |
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Quote:| Go ahead and prove me wrong. |
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I'm not trying to prove anything, dude. I'm just sick of your constant sexual references. It's like I'm being flashed when I read most of your stuff. It's gettin' just plain creepy, uncle perv. Even on a very serious post like what's happening with unsolved right now. This will be last post on this thread from me, I'm not gonna hijack it. Oh and for the extremely tired and old PMS reference... I suggest that when you go to Dallas, you avoid me...I'm really hoping to be PMS-ing so I can show you what PMS is really about. 
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| « Last Edit: Dec 17th, 2004, 7:32pm by nani » |
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Jonny
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Re: Is it fair to get married!?!
« Reply #73 on: Dec 17th, 2004, 9:23pm » |
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on Dec 17th, 2004, 7:22pm, nani wrote:| It's like I'm being flashed |
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Nah, I got that covered......LMMFAO
Aint I pretty?.....LMAO!!!
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Mr. Happy
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Re: Is it fair to get married!?!
« Reply #74 on: Dec 17th, 2004, 9:48pm » |
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on Dec 17th, 2004, 9:23pm, Jonny wrote:
How can you nitwits take your arguements seriously, when you got a monkey boy like this on Network TV?
This is supposed to be a thread about young lust and beans; yet local miscreants drag it thru every gutter available.
You people are driving me crazy. All of you.
Back to West Virginny,
RJ
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