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Topic: Met My 1st CHead and witnessed a hit... (Read 1112 times) |
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Langa
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Met My 1st CHead and witnessed a hit...
« on: Dec 19th, 2004, 3:22pm » |
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My friend and fellow-clusterhead came to NY this weekend to visit his family for Xmas and to meet me.
For the first time in my life I saw another human being get hit with a cluster. To say that it was a surreal experience is an understatement. It was like looking what it was like to be me the last 26 years. I'm sure most of you have witnessed other cheads get hit, but this was my first time. In total, during the weekend I saw him get hit 6 times. He's chronic. Each time, the hits got worse.
Last night was a full blown kip 10. I know he's on verapamil, 02 (which he didn't have with him) and the imitrex injections. After he injected the imitrex in his arm, he started crawling the floor.  I didn't know what to do except ask him if he wanted me to leave. I know from experience that dignity above all is important to us during an attack. He told me he wanted me to stay. So I sat on the floor with him holding his hand, moving my body across the floor wherever he was crawling and praying and wiping tears from my face that flowed easier than any other time in my life. Finally when the imitrex kicked in, after about 15 minutes, he sat up, drained and exhausted. On the floor, we held each other for along time. We eventually both fell asleep on the floor, both exhausted.
I never knew what it was like to be on "the outside looking in". Let's just say I have a new respect for the supporters in my life. I thought after the first time, I'd get used to it...wrong! It was harder the more I saw him suffer.
My hats off to all supporters!
Langa
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When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
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cootie
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Re: Met My 1st CHead and witnessed a hit...
« Reply #1 on: Dec 19th, 2004, 3:49pm » |
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Have you turned your friend onto this place yet.....he can crawl and cry and moan all he wants cuz people here will also 'be there' for him. Seen the ole clusterhead crawl myself and it is pitiful and disturbing I must say and there is nothing anyone can do 'I know'. Have seen the cluster light go off and on Pam
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Cause and Effect......"Cause is the effect concealed, Effect is the cause revealed"
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Biker
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Re: Met My 1st CHead and witnessed a hit...
« Reply #2 on: Dec 19th, 2004, 4:16pm » |
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I have been there. Its embarrassing. I have lost jobs, and relationships cause of the beast. I hope your friend dusted himself off and continued on. Thats about all there is to do.
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Ride it like ya stole it.
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Jonny
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Re: Met My 1st CHead and witnessed a hit...
« Reply #3 on: Dec 19th, 2004, 4:25pm » |
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Right
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Langa
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Re: Met My 1st CHead and witnessed a hit...
« Reply #4 on: Dec 19th, 2004, 4:37pm » |
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I met my friend through here... 
Langa
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When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
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don
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Re: Met My 1st CHead and witnessed a hit...
« Reply #5 on: Dec 19th, 2004, 5:53pm » |
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Nice story.
It took 15 minutes for the imitrex to take hold?
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Jonny
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Re: Met My 1st CHead and witnessed a hit...
« Reply #6 on: Dec 19th, 2004, 6:00pm » |
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I dont believe one word of that story.....sue me!!
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| « Last Edit: Dec 19th, 2004, 6:01pm by jonny » |
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Langa
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Re: Met My 1st CHead and witnessed a hit...
« Reply #7 on: Dec 19th, 2004, 6:04pm » |
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on Dec 19th, 2004, 5:53pm, don wrote:Nice story.
It took 15 minutes for the imitrex to take hold? |
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Sorry, I meant 5 minutes...thought it seemed much longer than that...
Langa
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When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
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don
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Re: Met My 1st CHead and witnessed a hit...
« Reply #8 on: Dec 19th, 2004, 6:13pm » |
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Quote:| I dont believe one word of that story |
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So I take that to mean you dont want me to come over and crawl on the floor with you a hold your hand?
You take my hand when I'm getting hit and I'm snapping your wrist.
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Jonny
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Re: Met My 1st CHead and witnessed a hit...
« Reply #9 on: Dec 19th, 2004, 6:13pm » |
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Right!
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don
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Re: Met My 1st CHead and witnessed a hit...
« Reply #10 on: Dec 19th, 2004, 6:24pm » |
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I've met a lot of sufferers and not one of them has ever seen me take a hit. Let alone 6 of them.
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docdog
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Re: Met My 1st CHead and witnessed a hit...
« Reply #11 on: Dec 19th, 2004, 6:32pm » |
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I'm sorry, but although the story seems very touching, I don't want anyone near me let alone holding my hand when the beast is functioning at full speed ahead. Most of the time when I get a 10. I'm oblivious to the world around me...can't breathe or see real well, can't think real well other than hoping the end is near.
As far as the Imitrex goes, I have had experiences in my previous cycle where the Imirex hardly had any effect at all.
Nevertheless, I admire your compassion for your fellow CH. We all need support and help.
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Jonny
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Re: Met My 1st CHead and witnessed a hit...
« Reply #12 on: Dec 19th, 2004, 6:35pm » |
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Anyone even speaks to me during a CH risks death.
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don
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Re: Met My 1st CHead and witnessed a hit...
« Reply #13 on: Dec 19th, 2004, 6:38pm » |
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What are you going to do while you are crawling around on the floor? Bite em in the ankles and hope they bleed out?
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Langa
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Re: Met My 1st CHead and witnessed a hit...
« Reply #14 on: Dec 19th, 2004, 6:40pm » |
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For me, it depends...most of the time I want to be alone, but in the past, when I've had kip10's I want someone in the room with me talking me through it, or just plain holding my hand...Other times, I want music.
I thought I read here that some people list to blast rock and roll music during bad hits.
Whatever works I guess!
Langa
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When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
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Jonny
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Re: Met My 1st CHead and witnessed a hit...
« Reply #15 on: Dec 19th, 2004, 6:47pm » |
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When im squeezing my head as hard as any vice could.....the last thing I want is to hold hands....Christ!
Do you even know what a Kip 10 is?
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don
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Re: Met My 1st CHead and witnessed a hit...
« Reply #16 on: Dec 19th, 2004, 7:58pm » |
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Isn't that when you invite family and friends for a game of twister?
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catlind
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Re: Met My 1st CHead and witnessed a hit...
« Reply #17 on: Dec 19th, 2004, 8:15pm » |
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I must say, and I'm sure I'll get torn up, but it won't be the first time...
I don't understand the negativity in this thread. Jonny you've been to conventions and get togethers, you've witnessed others take a hit...
As a general rule I think all CH'ers want to be left alone, but when it's another clusterhead, it's different. I still have no desire to be on display, but having Mast, Roxy, Linda, DJ and you Jonny, around me in NY was not a terrible thing. Roxy found your presence very comforting as you helped her get the O2 flowing in NY.
DJ witnessed several hits with me on the ride to Dallas, Mast let me squeeze the fuck out of her hand in NY, Roxy let me do the same in the truck on the way back from CT, BillyJ was the first person aside from my husband to ever see me get hit...he rescued me when I was locked out of my room in NY, and he ran and got his own O2 and a maintenance man to unlock my door, while I stood beating my head on the door. Billy sat with me, quietly while I waited for meds to kick in. His presence with me was oddly comforting...having someone in the room with me that fully and completely UNDERSTOOD the pain. Afterwards, he hugged me and we cried...
No other person would I allow near me, except a clusterhead, and only a select few at that...but I have squeezed hands...and I've actually seen a few crazy ones made to laugh during a hit (had I not seen it for myself I would have said it was impossible..).
I don't understand the negative feelings and sentiments in this thread.
Cat
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marlin
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Re: Met My 1st CHead and witnessed a hit...
« Reply #18 on: Dec 19th, 2004, 10:18pm » |
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I've never met another clusterhead and I've been getting hit for 27 years on and off. I've hardly met anyone that even knows what the hell one is much less able to relate. That's one reason I need to be ALONE during a hit - A FREAK SHOW FOR SOMEONE THAT DOESN'T UNDERSTAND. Not a whole lot different from a epileptic event.
The other reason is I recognize that I'm not rational over a K7 -- possibly dangerous. My family knows to LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE until the trex kicks in and I'm back with the living.
All that said, while I would feel really uncomfortable, apprehensive and probably sick to my stomach, if a clusterhead insisted I stick aroound for the show I suppose I would. Lord knows I could relate.
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don
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Re: Met My 1st CHead and witnessed a hit...
« Reply #19 on: Dec 19th, 2004, 10:22pm » |
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Quote:| I don't understand the negative feelings and sentiments in this thread. |
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Simple Cat. It's not believable.
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ClusterChuck
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Re: Met My 1st CHead and witnessed a hit...
« Reply #20 on: Dec 19th, 2004, 10:33pm » |
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I have to agree with Cat on this one (am I really admitting that?).
I am a DEFINATE "leave me alone, go away, and DON'T touch me" clusterhead. Yet in Nashville, MANY witnessed some of my hits, and dear Luke, held me and kept me from banging my head and pulling my hair. I thought I would be uncomfortable and pissed, if anyone had done that. Yet, strangely, I was comforted by his presence and care. I would have said that I would have riped someone's head off for doing what he did. Yet, once it happened, and then happened again and again, it seemed right.
I thank him for doing what he did. I don't know if it was just because it was Luke, or what, but I can't imagine letting my wife or daughter getting away with doing that. It could be that it was another clusterhead, and he is a special person. I don't know.
Many other cluster heads witnessed my some of my hits, and I even let Justin film one. I am surprised how that does not bother me that much.
I do cringe when I think of the spectacle that I made of myself at the restaurant, in public, and the hits that I had on the flights down.
It could be that I accept letting clusterheads seeing me, but do whatever I can to prevent outsiders from seeing me.
I just don't know.
Chuck
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Redd
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Re: Met My 1st CHead and witnessed a hit...
« Reply #21 on: Dec 19th, 2004, 10:42pm » |
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Vig was the first person to see me get hit...well besides the ex hubby who called me a whimp...but thats different. I was amazed that I let him touch me....hell he even was the one to give me my first half dose of trex...hit a muscle and bruised the hell out of my arm but with what was going on in my head I didn't really care...
He held me too...as I shook..as I fought back the urge to scream...
Paul I will appreciate that unconditional care you gave me for all of my days... 
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I saw an act of faith today. A man was on his knees, not in a pew in a Church, but in a garden planting seeds. ~~Unknown
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vig
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Re: Met My 1st CHead and witnessed a hit...
« Reply #22 on: Dec 19th, 2004, 10:45pm » |
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alright, so I'm not a nurse...
Kinda looks like a heart tattoo, doesn't it?
anytime Pegg.
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| « Last Edit: Dec 19th, 2004, 10:50pm by vig » |
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Ueli
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Re: Met My 1st CHead and witnessed a hit...
« Reply #23 on: Dec 19th, 2004, 10:49pm » |
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Don and Jonny suck
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Redd
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Re: Met My 1st CHead and witnessed a hit...
« Reply #24 on: Dec 19th, 2004, 10:58pm » |
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on Dec 19th, 2004, 10:45pm, vig wrote:
alright, so I'm not a nurse...
Kinda looks like a heart tattoo, doesn't it?
anytime Pegg.
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Ya know that thing lasted for weeks and weeks....
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I saw an act of faith today. A man was on his knees, not in a pew in a Church, but in a garden planting seeds. ~~Unknown
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