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Topic: Stuff I lernt here (Read 448 times) |
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BobG
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Stuff I lernt here
« on: Jan 3rd, 2006, 4:02pm » |
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1. Life is sexually transmitted.
2. Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
3. Give a person a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and he won't bother you for weeks.
4. Some people are like Slinkies ..... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
5. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
6. Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
7. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
8. Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
9. In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
10. Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
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Stay stressed. Never relax. Never sleep. Ever.
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ExplodingEyeBall
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I can't think of anything clever to put here.
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Re: Stuff I lernt here
« Reply #1 on: Jan 3rd, 2006, 4:05pm » |
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One other thing not on your list.
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If your parents don't have any kids, you won't either.......
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Just poke out my eye and get it over with!!!
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Phil L
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Re: Stuff I lernt here
« Reply #2 on: Jan 3rd, 2006, 4:55pm » |
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Today's America:
If at first you don't succeed,
It's always somebody elses fault.
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When I get up in the morning and have to look down to see the grass
I know it's going to be a great day.
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aprilbee
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Ain't I a stinkah!!
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Re: Stuff I lernt here
« Reply #3 on: Jan 3rd, 2006, 5:10pm » |
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 needed a smile more than you know!
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BarbaraD
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Hugs to ya
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Re: Stuff I lernt here
« Reply #4 on: Jan 3rd, 2006, 5:40pm » |
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Thanks Bob -- I needed that today......
Hugs BD
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What don't kill ya, Makes ya stonger!
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Guiseppi
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Re: Stuff I lernt here
« Reply #5 on: Jan 3rd, 2006, 8:45pm » |
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If at first you don't succeed....don't try sky diving!
Guiseppi
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Why are all sensors, seeking intelligent life, pointed AWAY from earth?
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AussieBrian
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Got beer?
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Re: Stuff I lernt here
« Reply #6 on: Jan 3rd, 2006, 8:56pm » |
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on Jan 3rd, 2006, 4:02pm, BobG wrote:| 2. Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. |
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Wall poster in a maternity suite: "The first 3 minutes of life are the most dangerous."
Neatly hand-written beneath: "The last 3 minutes can be a bit dodgy, too."
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Vulcrania horrendus - twice daily, then two at night in lieu of sleep.
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Mr. Happy
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Re: Stuff I lernt here
« Reply #7 on: Jan 4th, 2006, 1:55am » |
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May those who don't want any
Have memories of never getting any.
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sandie99
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Re: Stuff I lernt here
« Reply #8 on: Jan 4th, 2006, 6:24am » |
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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TomM
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Re: Stuff I lernt here
« Reply #9 on: Jan 4th, 2006, 9:53am » |
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Cheese and Rice, Bob! I don't need this synicism. Now go about your life...and don't bogart the O2.
TomM
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| « Last Edit: Jan 4th, 2006, 9:54am by TomM » |
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"Everyone should believe in something. I believe I'll go fishing."
--Thoreau--
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imnotbub
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Re: Stuff I lernt here
« Reply #10 on: Jan 4th, 2006, 10:54am » |
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My favorite is
The average person does not have average intelligence.
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Life may not be good, but I think it beats the alternative, and if it doesn't, we'll find out soon enough
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Charlie
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Happy to be here
 
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Re: Stuff I lernt here
« Reply #11 on: Jan 4th, 2006, 3:12pm » |
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You can fool some of the people all of the time and you can fool all of the people some of the time but you can't fool all of the people all of the time unless you try real hard. 
Charlie
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There is nothing more satisfying than being shot at without result---Winston Churchill
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Ghost
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Re: Stuff I lernt here
« Reply #12 on: Jan 4th, 2006, 3:21pm » |
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No matter what point you give even if fact someone will argue with you.
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Illigitimus Non Tatum Carborundum
If all men are endowed by their creator, why was mine so short sighted?
***WARNING*** Oxygen will rust your pipes!
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seasonalboomer
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If I think hard enough maybe it'll go away.....
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Re: Stuff I lernt here
« Reply #13 on: Jan 4th, 2006, 3:27pm » |
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on Jan 4th, 2006, 3:21pm, Ghost wrote:| No matter what point you give even if fact someone will argue with you. |
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Will not!
scott
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seasonal boomer
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Ghost
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Farting relieves the pressure
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Re: Stuff I lernt here
« Reply #14 on: Jan 4th, 2006, 3:30pm » |
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on Jan 4th, 2006, 3:27pm, seasonalboomer wrote:
Will not!
scott |
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Illigitimus Non Tatum Carborundum
If all men are endowed by their creator, why was mine so short sighted?
***WARNING*** Oxygen will rust your pipes!
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BarbaraD
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Hugs to ya
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Re: Stuff I lernt here
« Reply #15 on: Jan 4th, 2006, 3:57pm » |
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Will too!
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What don't kill ya, Makes ya stonger!
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