Posted by Carl D (18.104.22.168) on March 23, 2000 at 11:10:20:
I know I have said it before in the past - but it has never been even close...I just had the worst attack to end all attacks. I know the people upstairs had to have heard me, as I could not control myself at all. I just told Carma, one or two more attacks like this one, and I am done! I am serious too! The pain-scale thing is a joke in comparison (oh, and if anyone wants to give me shit - go eat it yourself, I am not in the mood to be fucked with in any way!!!!! got it?)
I am getting ready to call my doctors office and let them know that if they don't help me, I am over!!!
This is just too fucking much!!! Too much!!!
I am shadowing so hard right now my teeth hurt. My eye won't stop tearing. I am pissed off!!!!!! This is the worst day of my entire fucked up life (in case you didn't notice - I could give a shit less about my language. doesn't matter anymore.)
Right now nothing matters except making this pain stop. I am ready to do that one way or another!!! I cannot take any more of this.
I don't even know why I am typing this. I guess to let you know if I do lose it completely - you know why and what happened. I just can't take anymore of this!!! If only you knew (i'm sure someone out there does!!!)
I am going nuts!!! We say we can blame no one for CH. I blame the whole fucking medical community!!! I blame them for not helping. I blame them for being so tight fisted that they won't see anyone without money, and when they do - they give us a fucking band aid for cancer. They are half of my problem right now, the other half being I am being pushed to my limits and this is it!!! If you hear from me, I survived this hell another day. At this point though - I could really give a fuck less if I do. Good riddance to this fucked up life if I lose it!!! Fuck it all!!!!!
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